Wednesday, May 22, 2024

The Warriors Journey House: Grief and Pleasure, Loss and Love Within the 4th Quarter of Life


In 1994, my guide, The Warrior’s Journey House: Therapeutic Males, Therapeutic the Planet, was printed. In it I quoted meditation grasp Chögyam Trungpa,

“Warriorship right here doesn’t refer to creating warfare on others. Aggression is the supply of our issues, not the answer. Right here the phrase ‘warrior’ is taken from the Tibetan pawo which accurately means ‘one who’s courageous.’ Warriorship on this context is the custom of human bravery, or the custom of fearlessness. Warriorship is just not being afraid of who you’re.”

On the time I wrote the guide, I used to be very a lot involved in regards to the state of males and wellbeing of the planet all of us share. I’m much more involved at the moment. However I can be 80 later this 12 months and the grief, pleasure, loss, and love I felt then in regards to the state of the world, has a extra private dimension lately.

In earlier articles I talked about my spouse’s fall, her hip alternative surgical procedure, subsequent stroke, and the caretaking that has challenged us on this “4th quarter of our lives.”

I consider it was Bette Davis who mentioned, “Previous age ain’t no place for sissies!” As we face the top of our lives and should take care of incapacity, discomfort, and illness, it requires us to faucet into our true warrior spirit.

            My spouse, Carlin, and I met in 1980 at Aikido Tamalpais in Mill Valley, California. We had been each college students of Aikido and our instructors, Wendy Palmer, George Leonard, and Richard Strozzi-Heckler taught us plenty of what it meant to be a warrior within the custom of Aikido founder Morihei Ueshiba.

In the midst of his lengthy and distinguished profession, Richard skilled Inexperienced Berets and wrote a guide, In Search of the Warrior Spirit. He mentioned,

“the normal warrior virtues of braveness, loyalty, selflessness, service, and guardianship had been most likely first enacted by hunter warriors as they stalked and killed recreation, protected their clans from predatory animals or looting bands, and even participated in ritual ‘warfare.’”

In her guide, Who Do We Select to Be? Dealing with Actuality, Claiming Management, Restoring Sanity, Margaret Wheatley wrote,

The Warrior’s come up when the folks want safety. The human spirit wants safety. Might the Warrior’s come up.”

Clearly we want this type of warrior spirit to take care of our personal getting older and caretaking for these we love. We additionally want this type of warriorship to deal successfully with the difficult dealing with women and men on the planet at the moment.

Frederick Marx: Warrior for the Human Spirit

            Frederick Marx is a real warrior for the human spirit. He’s the founding father of Warrior Movies which, says Frederick, “conjures up wanted social change by telling compelling tales highlighting transformational options.” He’s additionally an Academy and Emmy nominated filmmaker and has labored for 45 years within the movie and tv enterprise.

            I first met Frederick following the discharge of his 1994 documentary, “Hoop Goals,” some of the acclaimed and profitable documentaries of all time. The movie goes into the  coronary heart of the male spirit for achievement. He tells the story of Arthur Agee, William Gates, and their households over a four-and-a-half-year interval, protecting the boys’ whole highschool careers as they pursue the elusive dream {of professional} basketball success.

            Frederick can also be an writer. In his guide, Rites to a Good Life: On a regular basis Rituals of Therapeutic and Transformation, he says,

“I believe the best crime of the final two centuries has been the numerous thousands and thousands of youngsters who’ve been introduced into the world however by no means taught to find their distinctive objective on this life.”

He goes on to say,

“There are a minimal of seven key passages within the common individual’s regular human lifespan:

  1. Start
  2. Child to childhood
  3. Childhood to puberty
  4. Adolescence to younger maturity
  5. Younger maturity to center age (typically outlined by parenting)
  6. Center age to Elderhood
  7. Eldership to dying.

He talks personally in regards to the 7th stage of life in his highly effective guide, At Dying Do Us Half: A Grieving Widower Heals After Dropping his Spouse to Breast Most cancers. Within the guide he recounts his grief after his spouse died, in addition to his lifelong emotional struggles. In reviewing the guide, Kirkus Opinions highlights the ability of the guide to explain this final transition in life together with  Frederick’s private story:

“When the writer was 9 years outdated, his father all of a sudden died. It was a traumatic encounter with mortality that may hang-out Marx for the remainder of his life. He was affected by ideas of suicide; his teenage years had been marked by rebel, and on the age of 16, he left dwelling to dwell communally with associates. He married in 2003, when he was 47 years outdated, and was compelled to lastly make his peace with the idea of dying when his spouse died in 2016 after a protracted battle with most cancers.”

Frederick can also be a founding member the Moonshot for Mankind and Humanity and featured within the forthcoming guide, Lengthy Dwell Males! The Moonshot Mission to Heal Males, Shut the Lifespan Hole, and Provide Hope to Humanity.  Right here are some things he shares within the guide:  

“One way or the other a very good portion of my grownup life has been dedicated to advocating for the initiation and mentorship of younger folks, particularly boys. That journey started at age 9 when my father died and my uncle informed me I used to be now the person of the home.

“On the way in which to my dad’s funeral, I walked to the automobile with my dad’s youthful brother—the person who at ten was led by my fifteen-year-old father out of the rioting metropolis of Frankfurt following Kristallnacht to the care of Dutch refugee officers, who spent these subsequent twelve months, because the warfare started, residing with a Dutch farm household, solely to be fetched by their half-dead father who someway managed to flee Buchenwald to say his boys and spirit them throughout the Atlantic on one of many final ocean liners to make the voyage to NYC in January, 1940. My uncle put his hand on my bony shoulder and mentioned, ‘Properly Freddy, you’re the person of the home now.’

“These days we giggle on the inappropriateness of such statements. Possibly at the back of his thoughts he was fascinated about what he would have performed if my father hadn’t been there to avoid wasting his life. However his phrases didn’t appear inappropriate to me. I wished to be that man, to take care of my mom, older sister, and youthful brother. I wished to dwell as much as that duty.

“I assumed my father’s dying and my uncle’s recognition someway mixed to anoint me a person. It might be a few years earlier than I understood the self-esteem of that. I used to be no extra a person than my sister or brother or mom. However that second planted a seed in me, one that may proceed germinating all through my lifetime. grow to be that man of integrity and honor I yearned to be? maintain duty for the well-being of these I really like?

“That’s why I joined this moonshot mission. Over time I’ve discovered good solutions to these questions, however I’m nonetheless reaching for pathways to carry a few of this collected knowledge to society’s important stage. That’s why I made the TV miniseries Boys to Males? together with different movies that look at the difficulty of males’s maturation, and that’s why I wrote the guide Rites to a Good Life with a chapter titled ‘The Mature Masculine.’

“Like Jed and the opposite members of this achieved group, I intention to supply a few of the instruments to allow folks in every single place to achieve for their very own human transformation and to help in assist of males in every single place.

“My easy, albeit formidable, prayer is that male teenagers worldwide get initiated and mentored into maturity. To assist get us there, I envision 1000’s of males’s organizations worldwide partnering with us to signal and promote a easy 5-Level Males’s Wellness Vow:

  • I’ll stay wholesome in thoughts and physique.
  • I’ll nourish and develop my emotional consciousness.
  • I’ll grow to be aware of my inner darkness and by no means hurt one other man, lady, or little one.
  • I’ll ask for assist and attempt to dwell cooperatively, not competitively, with males.
  • I’ll grow to be the most effective man I may be, residing with honor and pleasure in my masculinity.

“Our objective? 100 million males signatories!”

 You possibly can attain Frederick at If you need to learn extra articles about therapeutic males, you’re invited to subscribe to our weekly, free, publication.


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