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Paul Hawkins is a poet, artist, writer and former learner with our Bristol Wellbeing School. He now runs his personal six-week course, impressed by the artistic writing motion ‘Poem Brut’, the place he helps fellow learners to make use of creative artistic writing to assist their psychological wellbeing.
Right here, Paul shares his private psychological well being story with us and the way utilizing artistic arts can nurture confidence, self-expression and progress.
You may view the highly effective art work our learners create throughout Paul’s course in our digital exhibition, Poetry With out Phrases.
Set off warning: this text mentions self-harm and suicidal ideas
“I’ve had an extended historical past of despair, nervousness, habit, and a normal incapability to keep up functioning relationships. I’ve sought sanctuary from my issues by self-harming when alcohol and medicines didn’t appear to work. Throughout these a long time I labored out that I’d moved on common each 10 months however solely ever owned one tent.
I went by a number of jobs, too many to say right here, however they included musician, putting in irrigation methods, a refuse collector, tour supervisor, store work, managing an Elvis Presley impersonator, roadie and freelance journalist. I may by no means hold a job for lengthy. I skilled lengthy durations of suicidal ideas too, that culminated in an try simply earlier than I went to a different detox clinic in November 2010.
Following 4 months at a drug and alcohol therapy centre, I used to be re-housed & slowly started re-building my life.
Artistic remedy
I first got here throughout Vita Nova (a charity run by and for these in restoration from habit) after they carried out some poetry, artistic writing and music on the therapy centre. I had performed, written and carried out in numerous bands for a lot of a few years, and had written too.
Again then I didn’t assume it was potential to stay clear and sober, not to mention be artistic. Vita Nova confirmed me it was potential.
Impressed, I began going to the weekly Artistic Writing workshop. I used to be scared, missing in confidence and vanity, with psychological well being points bubbling-up unfettered by different substances. The workshop was run by playwright and novelist Nell Leyshon. It was a protected place to go to, was understanding, put no stress on me and gave solely mild, encouraging assist. I stored going again and did so for over two years.
I took half in tasks in native faculties utilizing theatre and writing as a approach to discuss to their local people about drug and alcohol use. After performing with Vita Nova at Kingston College as a part of a convention on Efficiency and Habit, it was instructed that maybe I may return to learning; maybe for an MA. Nell inspired me to start out an MA in Artistic Writing at Bathtub Spa College, which I handed with Distinction in 2013.
It’s vital to say that for the previous few years of consuming and drugging I couldn’t hearken to music. What the music meant to me merely harm an excessive amount of. As I gained confidence by my writing I met up with a pianist at Vita Nova. From there we wrote and carried out a soundscape to a Vita Nova manufacturing of Purple Sneakers. Impressed, we ran a weekly music workshop at Vita Nova, encouraging the therapeutic points of creating sounds with others; of getting enjoyable, build up some confidence, writing and performing music.
As a Vita Nova Affiliate Artist for 2 years, I supported others in the way in which I used to be supported; passing on the instruments given to me, utilizing the artistic arts in an setting that values particular person participation and nurtures confidence, self-expression and progress.
Connecting with Second Step
Since transferring to Bristol 9 or so years in the past I’ve been facilitating artistic writing workshops, curating occasions, working with SJ Fowler’s Poem Brut undertaking, co-running Hesterglock Press, publishing, exhibiting & performing.
Seven years in the past, though nonetheless clear & sober I discovered I used to be nonetheless experiencing difficulties and, following an evaluation was given a psychological well being prognosis by my psychiatrist. I used to be then supported by Second Step and began attending weekly Group Remedy six years in the past. I’ve struggled many occasions, and life has not at all times been straightforward in any respect, however with assist from Second Step, my associate and thru artwork & writing, as time handed I’ve managed to drag by.
Round 4 years in the past I contacted Ali, a assist employee at Second Step with a proposal for this course, and with the assist from Poem Brut curator SJ Fowler, we put it collectively. We ran some taster classes, have accomplished our first course and at the moment are into our third – it’s sensible!
The Poem Brut motion is a supply of inspiration, assist and a wealthy website of collaboration and studying. To have been capable of collaborate with Second Step assist employee Ali McAllister and put collectively the Poetry With out Phrases course has been unimaginable. The primary course we ran was superb; genuinely thrilling and distinctive in its mixture of contributors, whose enthusiasm, curiosity, urge for food for making an attempt one thing new, sense of mutual assist and humour made me really feel proud to have been part of. Right here’s to the long run!
Header art work: WINO by Paul Hawkins.
This publish was first printed in December 2020 and has been up to date.
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